Game studio Androids on Steroids has announced upcoming publication of its new game ‘Dingus Kong’ in December 2024. The game will be the first to utilize the extremely high definition ‘Mk Ultra HD’ graphics and audio that cannot be turned on lower volume, making the experience even more immersive than any of the games we have seen ever before.
“It needs to be felt firsthand”, says Gollum McScrotum, CEO of Androids on Steroids.
Plot of the game is just amazing. Dingus Kong is the less known brother of Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong is a proven loser who has been sent to retirement by Dingus from the 14th floor without a golden handshake or a parachute. In fact, only thing Donkey Kong made on his way down was a golden shower and a scream. Dingus is now taking the place of Donkey on the top of the girders having his mission to set the record straight. His plan? Murder plumber Mario in a fashion that causes millions of young gamers have PTSD for the rest of their lives and after that eating the damsel in distress slash princess to finish the insult.
In this game, in full 3D third person, the player is not playing the annoying plumber Mario but takes the role of Dingus instead. Dingus sets up all sort of traps in the preparation mode including landmines, acid pits, chainsaws and many more. In fact according to Gollum McScrotum, you will have more than 13000 different ways of killing Mario ranging from quick executions to brutal 30 minute gore fests. Amongst the ‘victory dances’ there are unforgettable performances like Dingus ravaging Mario’s corpse like no tomorrow. “You can’t unsee that for sure”, says Gollum McScrotum.
After we have tested the beta demo, we can definitely say that all of the above is no exaggeration. Freedom the player has in order to kill Mario is almost endless. Simply smash a steel barrel on Mario’s head until it’s downright flat or tear off his leg and use it to beat him into a pulp. Means of brutality is only limited to the player’s imagination. Physics and damage model of the game is also exemplary. How many games can brag about having realistic intestines spread of a human being following an explosion? One can even learn human anatomy from this game as Dingus can collect pieces of Mario to his trophy wall. Our review team currently has liver, appendix, spine and left kidney.
Conclusion: Dingus Kong will be the most anticipated game of Christmas 2024 and for all ages (Rated AAA). Don’t miss it or your family will miss the collective PTSD.